That’s a question one of my friends asked me. People from my creative background remember well how much I wanted to record videos, music videos and just observe the world through lenses.

I even bought myself a decent camcorder in 2006 and nice mac but eventually that wasn’t really enough. I spent hours putting things together, waiting 12 hours until the stuff loaded into my computer, had bought better cables until I lost the fight with technology and also with my capabilities as director.

Camera has been barely used and it’s still at home under my bed waiting for me…I guess to sell it eventually. I only resist to sell it because of the little cassettes that contain tangible memories of that time. Once in a year when I find them, I go through it, smile and cry and I love the content because it’s personal.

So when the friend raised a question whether I am still trying to progress I felt guilty at first. As everybody who regret not doing something I tried to find excuses: “Well, I don’t have a good equipment”, “my mac has broken down” until I realized few seconds after this that it is not about the equipment, it’s about the missing inspiration.

And I confessed it right after that it wasn’t about that. It was just because one day I stopped trying and it died out. That’s how I approached writing blogs or speaking in sophisticated English. It all died out without trying.

People used to tell me what a good writer I was. I never believed them cuz for me it’s hard to judge. I don’t question what I write or the way I write and my English worsened a lot even though I live in UK and work there. But once you stop using the language and just mumble the shit everyone else does – you’re at basic level again

So eventually, there might be a time when I get back to shooting. Or maybe just directing, writing scripts. Who knows. As that old Slovak-American professor said in the bus “Once you got talent, you don’t need to go to school. It’s there”. So let’s see. We all have a huge potential in us and we should pursue it.