It’s been almost a year since I left Slovakia after unsuccessful graduating at high school. I craved to leave despite the fact that I’d leave my best friends – Lubka & pregnant Gulia, great schoolmates, popularity and “fame” that I have gained in my hometown. My old friends and loves, my memories and books. My past.

Everything left behind for new lifestyle of an adult girl who cooks, irons, takes care of her spouse. It took a good amount of time until I became comfortable with that. I fought with the lifestyle. I felt it wasn’t me. Maybe it isn’t but I am happy in the long run. I do feel it’s right and it’s right for me. Maybe doing things the other way around than you’re supposed to is more rewarding. Maybe it’s too soon but maybe I’ll be able to do more soon.

Some people wait to make a career for years and then start doing something authentic. It’s a choice of each and every one of us. I feel my path is the right one.

For the past 9 days I’ve been in Slovakia I realized a lot. One thing is very disappointing, though.

I hate UK intensely, I hate the job I do, I hate the house and most of the people who live there…The only thing I love is my fiancee. But more often than not, he is the only person who keeps me alive.

I only on my way to get to know my future home Poland. My friend’s there are friends of my fiancee. I like most of them, there are few even now who I can rely on. But when it comes to that, I don’t want to bother them too much. I don’t know where’s my place in their lives.

I came here to Slovakia. My best friend Lubka is busy working as a waitress most of the days of the week. She has a difficult life, she needs to help her grandma with household. In her free time, which is short, she craves to spend it with her boyfriend and it’s understandable. Gulia is brilliant, full of life, despite her situation. Life beats her everyday but she was blessed… her son Daniel is just amazing happy child.

Slovakia lives without me just as well as with me. I know they miss me, I miss them. But they learned to live on as I did. Even though I miss Slovakia way too much and when I am away I feel this is my home. But having no family here except for my mom…it really isn’t.

So I realized today…I have no home yet… I don’t know what I would do without my fiancee… He makes my life worthwhile. I know I could live happy life even if we never met but I am glad we did. I know he’s the one who has a very nice conception of home and family and he teaches me that well.

But for today, I am a lonely child. On my very own. A year has passed… Very quickly…